A Way to Let Go
by MusicLOVEPainter
Summary: I loved Yuki, simple as that. He was my everything, but I knew he hated me. That's why I started drugs. KyoxYuki
1. Chapter 1: Kyo's POV

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Fruits Basket (Furuba) it belongs to Natsuki-sama.**

Addiction, depression, self-injury, yaoi, and suicide are all implied and carried out in this story. If you don't like any of them, back off. Italics for emphasis and thought. (Kyo's POV)

**A Way to Let Go**

I had been wearing tighter pants more often. I even got a smaller size in my uniform pants. It was nice, being noticed by everyone. Even the new kids I hung around were wearing tight pants. They taught me how to get over the small and big problems of life. It really worked too. Kauri, my new friend, and I always did it together too. He would come over and we would just sit in my room with the needles and razors.

They taught me in school not to share needles, heck; they told me not to do drugs at all! But really, who was it hurting? No one around me knew, only Kauri and our friends. Tohru, Shigure, even the Rat didn't notice. So, I wasn't hurting anyone. The cuts were always covered up and I healed quickly anyways. My grades may have been dropping, but it stopped the pain.

The reason I was on drugs and cutting myself was HIS fault, not mine. I had been in love with Yuki for awhile,. Kauri noticed immediately and showed me this incredible way to heal. He was a real nice guy, the kind that, if he wasn't on drugs, you would want as a friend. He knew what to say and when to say it. That was all that mattered. _He_ _helped me_.

I had been sitting at the table, watching TV, when there was a knock on the door. Tohru opened it and let my new best friend in shyly.

"Yo, Kyo. The guys and I are going out tonight," Kauri's voice snapped me away from the TV.

"Where to?"

"That place, where else?"

"I don't know. I'll be right back," I mumbled, getting up.

I walked into the kitchen and noticed Shigure whispering to Yuki. I walked by slowly and didn't give them any attention. Picking up a key, I looked longingly at the knife set. I touched it lightly, anticipating tonight's events. Smiling softly, I walked back over to Kauri and Tohru.

"Ready?"

"I was born frickin' ready," I smirked at him.

He returned the smirk and walked over to my door. I smiled at Tohru and she nodded. She thought it was great that I had friends other than her and Yuki. I walked over to the door and was ready to walk out when Tohru's voice rang out to me.

"It's cold. Put on a jacket," she smiled.

"Nn..'Kay."

I threw on a jacket with fur on the rim of the hood. It was a slim-fitting jacket, my favorite, to be exact. I was almost out the door before the stupid rat spoke up.

"If you appreciate what Miss Honda has given us, you won't do this," he threatened.

Recently, I just didn't feel like fighting him, "Whatever, let's go Kauri."

Kauri looked between us and nodded. We walked away and all we heard was, "I hate you Kyo! I hate you so much!"

I smiled a fake smile and kept walking, "Are you okay?" Kauri's concerned voice reached me.

I looked at him, "Of course," I said play-punching his arm.

He smiled and we kept walking. Neither of us spoke until we got there. The old, abandoned, shack. This was where we always did the drugs. I preferred needles and pills over crack. I shared a needle with Kauri, like always. We liked the same things. It was nice to be similar to someone.

"Hey dudes, check this out," Kazuki muttered.

We all looked at him to see him cutting a small slit on his wrist. Someone said something about it being stupid and dumb to watch, until he did something really stupid. He grabbed salt out of a bag and smeared it all over his blood and cut. He breathed in sharply as he tilted his head back out of pleasure and pain. When they said being high makes you do stupid stuff, they sure meant it. The others started to try it, but I was way too smart to give myself an infection.

_What am I doing here? Why am I doing this?_

_Because it helps. _I told myself…..It was better to have no pain.

I was already infected with whatever the hell Kauri had. No turning back, if I'm sick, I might as well try something new. I reached for the razor and made a small slice like Kazuki, and it felt _good_. I grabbed for the salt when I was hauled up suddenly.

I looked around and saw Hatsuharu dragging me away from my friends. _My only friends_. I struggled, but I was too weak from all the drugs in my system.

Haru laughed emptily, "You're pathetic. You're so high you can't free yourself from my grasp!" he yelled with fury and hate.

That was it. It had finally hit me. Someone cared and I was being so completely stupid that I hadn't noticed. Haru was right. I was too high to care about my own body's strength. Sobs escaped my lips as I embraced the ox in a tight, warm hug. He hugged me back with an intensity meant for healing. He was trying to heal me.

"H-Haru….I'm s-s-so so-o-rry….," I wept into his shirt.

He shushed me and carried me. I didn't remember much due to the fact that I had past out. But when I came to, I was still in his arms. He opened a door, I looked over and saw Shigure's house. I squirmed like a maniac, I couldn't let Yuki see me. Haru just walked in, closed the door casually, and walked up the stairs with me in his arms. We passed Yuki in the hall, but he didn't say anything. He didn't need too, his eyes were wide and he followed Haru to my room. I was laid gently onto my bad, but I kept my arms around Haru. If I let go, I lost the only person who cared about me. His eyes were loving, he was smiling softly, and he laid his head on my chest.

The tears came again. I cried onto him and held his small body tightly. Haru got up, and pushed my arms away as gently as he had put me down. He walked away, but I wasn't alone for long. Yuki came up to me and just glared. I stared at him. _I love you. Don't leave, stay here and lay beside me. Heal me. Protect me, save me from myself._

"You're an idiot," he hissed out.

"Yuki," I extended my hand out, but he smacked it away.

"I warned you Kyo. You didn't listen. I hate you," and with that, he walked away.

_Yuki, don't leave me………. I need you more than I need healing………._

He didn't come back. He wasn't going to come back for a freak like me. No one loved me, not even Haru, he left me. When Yuki slammed my door, I couldn't help it. I needed relief. I grabbed the blade hidden in my closet.

_Make my pain go away……… Forever._

I sliced on my artery and gasped at my surprise. I didn't think it would hurt more than it gave me relief. Until, the pain left me suddenly. I smiled, the tears going more severely than before. Laughing, I sliced away.

_Harder you fool! Your pain will remain until you end it! _I shouted at myself.

I laid down on the floor, time for a nap. I felt myself slinking out of reality and into the darkness of my dreams. I laughed and I cried at the same time. It hurt….and yet it was perfect.

"Kyo! No!"

_Yuki?_

Yuki's beautiful face flooded my sight. He was worried about something. He had tears in his eyes, his beautiful, silky eyes. I touched his face lovingly, the smile appeared on my face.

"I must be dreaming already. You're always here when I dream," I mumbled.

"Kyo…no…"

"I love you, my prince."

"I love you too, Kyo…..don't die," he sobbed.

"I'm not dying… I'm living for the first time."

His lips touched mine tenderly, it was wonderful. I didn't want this dream to end. This was the best dream I had been having in awhile.

"I love you so much, Kyo…..Tohru! Call Hatori! Tell him Kyo's dying!"

Yuki shouted so loud, I thought my ears would shatter. I kissed him again. His tears hit my face.

"Why are you crying, Love?"

"Kyo…hang on. You'll be safe, I promise. And once you're okay, I'll love you for real."

I smiled and I realized my dream was ending. I kissed him and leaned away. My surroundings became black and my body started going cold.

"KYO?!"

It was over. I couldn't hear Yuki. The light was gone.

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Author's Note:Um....I'm thinking of making Yuki's version of the story. Tell me if you want it!


	2. Chapter 2: Yuki's POV

**Disclaimer:****I do not own Fruits Basket (Furuba) it belongs to Natsuki-sama.**

Addiction, depression, self-injury, yaoi, and suicide are all implied and carried out in this story. If you don't like any of them, back off. Italics are for emphasis and thought. (Yuki's POV) Bold is for other people on the phone.

**A Way to Let Go**

"Yuki, I just don't know if that's okay," Shigure whispered.

We were in the kitchen corner talking about Kyo's condition with drugs. It was obvious to me, yet no one else knew.

"Shigure, I understand that you love Kyo, but I need to help him."

"Do you honestly think that your way of going about it will work? Yuki?"

Kyo had walked in at that exact moment and walked over to the counter. His tanned fingers picked up the house key but lingered for a second. Crimson eyes watched the knife set…longingly. It was something trivial, but it was Kyo. He smiled and turned around to walk out of the kitchen.

"Yuki?"

Shigure's voice didn't faze me, I was after Kyo. I walked into the living room to see him nod to Miss Honda. She walked over to the door and said something about a jacket. I walked over to their place and glared at his head. The words suddenly slipped out, I wasn't going to say anything.

"If you appreciate what Miss Honda has given us, you won't do this," I said the phrase with hate, it disgusted me.

His eyes lingered on my body for a second, and mine on his. He looked at me with confusion, but he turned around anyways.

"Whatever, let's go Kauri," he seemed like he didn't want to go, but like he had to.

Kauri looked between the two of us, but followed Kyo when he realized that he was leaving. I still didn't have control of my body, because I never would have spoken to Kyo the way I did, but the words spewed out like poison.

"I hate you Kyo! I hate you so much!"

He never stopped, he kept walking away. He was walking away from the love we could give him. Kyo needed help with his problem, he just wouldn't cooperate. It was true, I had mixed feelings for Kyo, but I wouldn't show it. On certain days, I was nice, on other days I hated him. I didn't understand myself at all.

_I want to love Kyo._

Of course I did. I had always tried to get his affection. It was just recently that I brought up our past. That hat…..it had meant a lot to me. It held Kyo's feelings of warmth and kindness, things he never showed me. I must have blocked out all noise, due to the fact that Miss Honda had to tap my shoulder.

"Haru is on the phone," she said softly.

I walked over to the cordless and picked up.

"What is it?"

**I know that Kyo is on drugs. I want to help him Yuki.**

"So? Is that my problem? If you want to help him, do it!" I abruptly ended our phone call when I slammed the phone on the hook in a fit.

I was steamed. I needed to just relax. Walking to my room, my memories of Kyo playing with everyone at public school flooded my thoughts. How long had I been standing in the hall? I just remember the hole that was my heart. Footsteps echoed in the hall. Mine? I wasn't walking though……then…who? Kyo?

I turned to see Haru carrying Kyo down the hall. Kyo looked at me with pained eyes, like he was sorry. I followed Haru and Kyo to his bedroom and stood in the doorway while Kyo hugged Haru.

Haru was released and he just glared at me when he walked away. I couldn't help myself, I had to tell him.

"You're an idiot," I said hatefully. He whispered my name. I walked over to him and he raised his hand to my face. Consequently, I smacked it away, "I warned you Kyo. You didn't listen. I hate you."

I walked out and slammed his door. Slouching, I walked slowly down the hall. Prince Yuki was a monster and no one saw how much I just wanted Kyo's attention. Everything was spinning as tears came to my eyes. There was a soft thud from Kyo's room. I ran back to his small room and found him on the floor.

"Kyo! No!" I shouted.

I sat next to him and held his head. He didn't notice, he just smiled and said my name. His eyes were dark and he looked so happy to be there.

"I must be dreaming already. You're always here when I dream," he mumbled softly.

"Kyo…no…," I whispered, wishing he wouldn't die.

He said it, "I love you, my prince."

"I love you too, Kyo…..don't die," tears ran down my face and a sob escaped my lips.

"I'm not dying… I'm living for the first time."

I kissed Kyo gently, he just couldn't die. I had so much to tell him.

"I love you so much, Kyo…..Tohru! Call Hatori! Tell him Kyo's dying!" Kyo slightly cringed under me.

"Why are you crying, Love?"

"Kyo…hang on. You'll be safe, I promise. And once you're okay, I'll love you for real."

Kyo smiled a desperate smile that had no hope or life. He closed his eyes and he kissed me again. He leaned away and I could feel his body growing stiff and cold.

"KYO?!"

I shouted for so long, I was still shouting when Hatori grabbed my shoulder.

_Am I crying?_

_Yes, but why?_

_I love Kyo… He was my everything… It hurt to hold him like that…_

My heart had a hole in it and I could feel myself losing everything. The pain subsided and the love vanished from my being. How long had I sat in my room by myself? It felt like forever. I had the lights off and I was turned with my back towards the door. Everything was useless… Just like Akito said it was… Like always, he was right.

"Yuki?"

Miss Honda's voice flooded the thick air. I didn't turn, I couldn't.

"It's morning… Did you want breakfast?"

I shook my head slowly. The light from the hall still flooded my room, meaning she was still there. I was silent until she came in and sat down next to me.

"Miss Honda?"

"Yuki, what is troubling you so?"

"I loved him… he loved me back… I was stupid enough to tell him that I _hated _him…," my voice sounded foreign to my own ears.

"Yuki? His funeral is in three days… You don't have to go…"

"I'm going," I said slowly.

She kissed my forehead and walked out. Just like Tohru to care. My heart was sore, what was the pain? Heartbreak or sorrow? Both if I'm correct. It hurt too much to think about. I got up and walked to the bathroom without a noise. I stood and looked at myself, a beautiful boy stood in front of me, but his soul was ugly and tortured. I lifted my fist up and slammed it against the mirror. Blood and broken shards scattered every which way. I smiled at my blood spilling down the mirror. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fell onto my butt and screamed out.

"Kyo! Don't leave me!"

No one came running up to the bathroom, no one screamed for me, no one cared. I was officially alone. No one to love, no one to hate, no one to fight, only the emptiness that was there before.

_My Emptiness_

_Life is over…… He's really gone… He isn't coming back to me!_

"No!" I screamed for as long as I could, just curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor.

I only remember seeing his face and hearing his warm voice saying, "Come to me."

I only did it because I didn't want to be alone like before! I wouldn't live alone and be beaten by Akito! Kyo understood me! He really loved me. I didn't know why I was doing it, but I just remember opening the cabinet and pulling out every bottle of medicine. I remember opening up every last bottle and taking every last pill.

I remember never waking up.

* * *

This is the last chapter. I hope you all enjoyed Yuki's POV. I was really hard to get him just right. Thanks for reading!


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